Just for Grins

I was browsing through the latest JCR magazine this afternoon and noticed the Just for Grins page where court reporters send in their funny transcript excerpts.

I thought I'd share a couple of them here:

WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO BE ONE, TOO?

Q. You still use a calculator with your right hand?
A. Yes, and the computer keyboard, I'm not a full typer,
I'm just a pecker.
Q. Your words, not mine.

WHAT A JOB!

THE COURT: Ma'am, are you employed?
PROSPECTIVE JUROR: Yes, I am.
THE COURT: What type of work do you do?
PROSPECTIVE JUROR: CPA for a plant in Monroe.
THE COURT: Thank you. Are you married?
PROSPECTIVE JUROR: Yes.
THE COURT: What type of work does your spouse do?
PROSPECTIVE JUROR: He passes gas for a living.
(Short period of silence)
THE COURT: I'm just so excited my six-year-old has a future.
(Prospective jurors and spectators roaring with laughter)
PROSPECTIVE JUROR: He markets natural gas.
THE COURT: Again, I'm happy about that.
PROSPECTIVE JUROR: Residentially and commercially.
THE COURT: That has to be a fun one at parties.
PROSPECTIVE JUROR: Yes, it is.